Today marks the fifth anniversary of my father’s death so of course he’s been on my mind all day. My dad was an incredible man – he grew up poor in Vietnam then our family came into some wealth before losing everything in the Vietnam War. On the surface, our story is like so many others who survived the war and fled the ensuing punishments after the fall of Saigon and while I could write a whole novel about our escape and early days in Canada, that’s not what I’m thinking of right now.
Today I’ve been missing my dad and reflecting on what an incredible man he was and everything that he taught me. This is a man who for all intents and purposes lost everything but picked up the pieces and kept going. Not only did he make a new life in a country that was half way around the world where he did not speak the language nor understand the customs, he did it with a wife, three young children under the age of 5 and three siblings all in their teen years. He raised five children who by any standard are successful. We are all educated, financially secure and (mostly) sane. Not one criminal record in sight.
But the part that I’m most grateful for is that my dad absolutely insisted upon his girls being educated and career-oriented. Let’s be clear here, he was an Asian man of a certain generation so this was seriously bucking the trend. Throughout my life I heard people tell my parents that they shouldn’t allow me to read so much, be so educated, be so career focused, etc because no man was going to want me. Not only did my dad ignore all that foolishness, he staunchly stood in the way of match-making efforts or anything else that would have distracted me from my ambitions and for that I will be eternally grateful. I don’t know if I would be the same person I am today if my dad were different but I do know that the road I chose would have been astronomically more difficult.
My dad continues to be my role model when it comes to overcoming obstacles and adversity and coming through the other side as a happy, kind and generous human being. He set a great example for me as I go through the startup madness. Yes, I can build something from nothing. Yes, I should stop listening to the negative voices around me who tell me to follow the crowd. Yes, I can pick myself up again and keep going when I hit a bump – or when someone knocks me down. Most of all, he taught me that just plain old hard work can overcome a hell of a lot of barriers.
Thank you Dad. I love you and I miss you.