Turning 40
by Rita Nguyen
In June I will be turning 40 which often shocks people who don’t know me well – thank you mom and dad for the Asian genes!!! Some of my older friends tell me that it’s pretty much a non-issue while others tell me that they were fine with it until it actually happened. So far, I don’t have any real angst about my age. Well, rarely anyway. I did have an ex who charmingly compared parts of my body to that of a celebrity who is 15 years my junior. I lost. I guess it’s not much of a wonder why he’s an ex, huh?
In any case, I was thinking about turning 40 today. More specifically, I was thinking of turning 40 with some of my close girlfriends in Italy this summer (woohoo!). Other than using a big round number as a reason to drag my friends on a great trip, I really can’t see drowning myself in a bottle of pink bubblies. Well, yeah okay maybe I will but it won’t be in misery but rather in celebration.
I remember a conversation I had with a mentor while in my early 20’s. She was 43, beautiful, single and by all corporate standards, wildly successful. One night we had some drinks and she made a comment that has stayed with me for almost two decades. She said, “I’m not sure how I got to this – in my 40’s still single and with no kids.” It was a sad and deeply personal insight into regrets of her life choices. It also scared the hell out of me.
As I face my 40’s also single and childless, I’m luckily not feeling this kind of regret. I think it comes down to being comfortable with my life. Could I have made better choices? Absolutely. I have the therapist bills to prove it too. But I’ve lived as large and bold as I know how, which isn’t always easy but definitely not dull. I remember moving back to Vancouver right before I turned 30 and thinking I needed to put down roots. Today, I do not have that feeling. Today, I look forward to another 40 years of travels and meeting interesting people. To learning new things and collecting more memories. To being a great auntie, sister, daughter and friend. Those are labels I’m happy with and that’s all that really counts at the end of the day, isn’t it?
Besides, I look damn good for a middle aged lady.
Canadian geek in Myanmar 
Hi Rita,
It might be a bit late (or too late) but congrats on turning 40. This is just so inspiring and yes, I too believe that at the end of the day, memories are much more important than materials, or wealth. I also love the way you said you have lived your life as large and bold, hard but surely rewarding. Keep doing cool things and live your life to the fullest.
Wish you all the best.
Ps: I have no idea about your appearance, but I believe you are really tough (yes, tough) for a middle aged lady. Cheers.
Hi Tan, thank you so much for taking the time to send me such a kind note 🙂
Rita, here is another kind note for you. Wishing you all the best for Christmas 🙂
And actually, I should be the one thanking. Thank you for writing all of this, I feel lucky when I found your blog (still reading since then).
This is a side story, just for fun. I just recently returned to Vn from Australia and was looking for a job. I happen to apply for a company named Mysquar, then I tried to dig its root to prepare for an interview. I ended up reading everything about it and when I realized it, I found myself commenting on your blog, guess I overdid my research lol. Anyway, I don’t think MySquar is not a good starting point to get to know you and your blog but thanks to it that now I am here.
I read a lot here and actually learn a lot, you might be the most interesting person I have ever known. So if you have a chance to visit Vietnam, would you mind a 5 minutes coffee? I would love to meet and hear about your work and life experience. I know this is too much to ask, but it never harms to try and well, “just do it”, like you have said.
All the best. Tan.
Hi Tan, I am not often in HCMC these days but will be sure to ping you when I am next there as I would love to meet you in person. Merry Christmas and hope you have a happy new year in your new home.